Couples, Relationship & Sex Therapy

A 60-minute session may fit when:

• There is one defined priority for the session
• Therapy is occurring consistently
• The relationship can settle into productive work relatively quickly
• The work involves practicing or refining an established skill
• Enough time remains for all participants to close without feeling abruptly cut off

A 90-minute session may fit when:

• The initial assessment requires more context
• The concern has several interconnected layers
• Intimacy, sexuality, betrayal, or trauma requires slower pacing
• Participants need more time to regulate before productive dialogue begins
• More than two members of a relationship system are attending
• A 60-minute session repeatedly ends as meaningful work is beginning

The printable guide includes the sample 60- and 90-minute maps, possible topics for therapy, questions to consider when choosing a session length, and a reminder that the outline is flexible rather than prescriptive.

Squarespace setup: Upload the included PDF to your site files, copy the generated file URL, and replace the suggested link below if Squarespace assigns a different path.

• Communication
• Recurring conflict
• Attachment patterns
• Boundaries
• Trust
• Betrayal
• Rupture and repair
• Intimacy
• Desire differences
• Sexual communication
• Sexual trauma
• Erotic agency
• Kink / BDSM / D/s
• Consent and aftercare
• CNM / polyamory
• Jealousy and hierarchy
• Grief and transitions
• Role changes

Sexual trauma can affect memory, body connection, trust, desire, intimacy, shame, boundaries, and the ability to identify or communicate what feels wanted.

• Sexual trauma processing and memories affecting intimacy
• Shame, avoidance, fear, or disconnection from the body
• Rebuilding boundaries, self-trust, voice, and choice
• Intimacy after trauma and reconnecting with erotic agency
• EMDR when trauma memories continue to shape sexuality or relationships

• Couples intimacy and sexual communication
• Desire differences, avoidance, or performance concerns
• Attachment patterns and recurring relational loops
• Boundaries, conflict, trust, betrayal, rupture, and repair
• Shame, pursuit, withdrawal, control, or self-abandonment within the relationship

Attachment categories are descriptive frameworks rather than diagnoses or permanent personality types. Patterns can differ across relationships and become more flexible through later experience, boundaries, therapy, and repeated repair.

Medical sexual concerns, sexual pain, hormonal factors, or physiological contributors may require collaboration with a qualified medical provider.

• Kink identity exploration and shame reduction
• Dominant, submissive, switch, and other role experiences
• Consent communication, negotiation, limits, and boundaries
• Safewords or signals, stopping practices, aftercare, and emotional responses afterward
• Integrating kink with attachment, intimacy, and relationship functioning

Consensual kink, BDSM, D/s, and power exchange are not presumed to be symptoms of trauma or pathology. Subspace is not automatically treated as dissociation, and dominance or submission are not automatically treated as trauma responses. Therapy examines function, meaning, capacity, consent, context, choice, communication, and impact.

Scope: Therapy may include assessment, preparation, relational processing, and integration. It does not include physical scene facilitation, restraint, impact play, or other in-session kink activities.

• Open relationships and polyamorous relationship systems
• Agreements, expectations, boundaries, and renegotiation
• Jealousy, attachment insecurity, comparison, or scarcity
• Hierarchy, gatekeeping, autonomy, and unspoken power
• Communication and repair across partners or relationship systems

Polyamory is not evidence of insecure attachment, and monogamy is not evidence of secure attachment. Attachment can differ across concurrent relationships and may be influenced by hierarchy and relationship-specific conditions.

High-conflict polycule systems, unclear coercion, acute safety concerns, or significant role complexity may require consultation, collaboration, or referral.

• Identity exploration and self-definition
• Relationships, intimacy, sexuality, and belonging
• Internalized shame, stigma, or family-system pressure
• Attachment and relational patterns shaped by marginalization
• Affirming support without requiring identity to become the problem

Gender-affirming specialty care beyond Jillian’s current training may involve collaboration or referral to an appropriately trained provider.

Consultation or collaboration may be needed for:

• Complex BDSM or high-conflict relationship-system dynamics
• Sexual dysfunction or pain requiring medical collaboration
• Gender-affirming specialty care beyond current training
• Unclear coercive control or significant safety questions

Referral may be needed when there is:

• Active sexual coercion, intimate partner violence, or acute safety instability
• Forensic sexual concerns
• A need for specialized medical treatment without appropriate providers involved
• Pressure to participate in kink, CNM, or another relationship structure without free agreement

Private pay: Couples and relationship therapy is not submitted to insurance.

Relationship therapy is scheduled and clinically managed through SimplePractice.

• Visa
• Mastercard
• American Express
• Discover
• JCB
• Diners Club
• Debit cards
• Eligible HSA cards
• Eligible FSA cards
• Zelle for approved balances

Clients are responsible for confirming HSA/FSA eligibility. Do not include relationship details, diagnoses, trauma history, or other clinical information in a payment memo.

At least 24 hours’ notice is required to cancel or reschedule a couples or relationship appointment. Appointments canceled, rescheduled, or missed with less than 24 hours’ notice are charged the full scheduled fee.

• Services are offered by telehealth for now.
• Psychotherapy participants must be physically located in California at the time of the session.
• Use the private-pay dropdown inquiry form and select 60 or 90 minutes.
• Share general scheduling information only; do not submit detailed clinical or intimate information through the public form.
• Website forms are not monitored for crisis support. Call 911 for immediate danger or call/text 988 in the United States.