He Pursued You—But He Wasn’t Ready
When unhealed men seek love they can’t hold, it’s not about connection—it’s about regulation.
He didn’t pursue you because he was ready to love.
He came because he was aching—for relief, not a relationship.
What you mistook as presence was performance.
What he wanted wasn’t love—it was a temporary escape.
The Psychology of Performed Healing
Some men don’t heal—they rehearse.
They do “just enough” to appear ready, bypassing grief, shame, and depth.
What they seek is proximity to wholeness—not responsibility for creating it.
“He wanted to feel better, not become better.”
Why He Was Drawn to You
He didn’t want you—he wanted what your nervous system symbolized:
Warmth. Depth. Regulation.
You became the place he could pretend he was whole—until you reflected his gaps.
“He didn’t love you—he borrowed you to feel loveable.”
What Happens When the Illusion Breaks
When intimacy demands presence, the mask cracks.
That’s when he retreats, projects, cheats, or ghosts.
It’s not because you were too much.
It’s because he had nothing to offer beyond illusion.
What You Do With This Truth
Let yourself grieve the illusion. Let it teach you.
Not everyone who finds your warmth is meant to stay.
You didn’t fail him. He failed to meet himself.
Want to break this cycle?
Start with Healing Pathway 1: Rebuild Your Visibility & Self-Worth.
You’ll learn how to recognize trauma bonds, restore inner clarity, and protect your truth from illusion-based love.
“Don’t mistake proximity for capacity. He didn’t come to build—he came to borrow.”